I utilized analytical autoethnography to analyze and interpret my own experience of what caring for a child that died was like for me within the academic and institutional culture that I was educated and trained in (Chang, 2008). Themes of lack of preparedness, relationships, loss and emotion, death denial, and lasting impacts and growth were identified. Pediatric death and dying education and training for nurses should encompass nursing responsibilities, communication strategies, holistic assessments, symptom management, cultural awareness, and grief literacy (Bensoussan, 2024; Chew, Ang, & Storey, 2021; Kent, Anderson, & Ownes, 2012; RNAO, 2012). A system to accommodate, acknowledge, and value emotion. A platform to share, learn, and grow from the experience with death and dying. This autoethnographic account provides insights into the personal and professional impacts of pediatric patient death on nurses and the importance of associated education, training, and support to improve care for patients, families, and self.
Author Keywords: autoethnography, lasting impacts, metabolizing grief, nurse, pediatric patient death, self-transformation